Damien Massias, a life coach talking about his relationship… with social media

Local writer Karolina Komada spoke to life coach Damien Massias about social media and his upcoming book.

His passion? People or more like elements of people’s behaviour and feelings. As his work relies on coaching people and giving them advice, he also decided on giving them a guide about social media.

Born in France to a family, who like the author admits, constantly thought about other people. It is like the family decided for him to be a philosopher and gave him a spark to solve “life puzzles.” Starting as being a lifeguard, a cabin crew member for British Airways, he moved his career up and published a book. What does he do and why has a life coach written a book about social media?

What do you do?

DM: “I’m a life coach. I work with people and help them change their life patterns, whether it’s related to their confidence, dating, relationships, jobs or moving towards goals.

“Most people have certain beliefs about things, like they want some things, or may not want certain things. I want them to have a better understanding about their lives. We work on strategies and find the easiest ways to get closer to the goal.”

Why have you decided to write a book about social media?

DM: “I kept hearing problems, for example clients told me that they spend way too much time on social media, or they don’t feel attractive because every time they use social media, they’re bombarded with the pictures of perfect looking people.

“I saw certain behaviours on social media which were questionable. I wondered why people do this. Especially if they told me they spend too much time on their phone but at the same time they feel lonely.

“I gathered all my understandings around social media, all whys and hows of what’s happening on those platforms. I wanted to give them a simple guide and raise awareness towards this issue.”

Most of the time everyone is busy with life, working, family and other commitments, but then, randomly pandemic happens. Do you think the relationship between people and social media has increased during the national lockdowns?

DM: “I personally believe that during the first lockdown people used way too much social media. I believe, afterwards, some people realised it’s pointless and they went on a social media detox.

“But then some, who are not aware of the issue, published content just to gather attention. “

How is your relationship with social media?

DM: “I’m aware of the whys and hows. I don’t really find social media that interesting. I cannot say that I don’t use it because it would be a lie. I browse through Instagram, but at the end of the day it’s all the same. Most selfies are the same, all the stories are the same. It’s boring.

“In fact, my last post on Instagram was in April 2020. Two reasons, one is because I’m re-publishing my book and I didn’t want to release any topics of the book too early. The second being, people don’t appreciate it, usually they scroll mindlessly on social media. It would be a waste of an extensive content.”

Who do you follow on your platforms?

DM: “I will start by telling you this, people choose who they want to follow on Instagram, Twitter etc. so if I’m going to follow only fitness bloggers, that’s all I’m going to see. Unconsciously, people don’t realise it will become their reality. They will think that every man and woman on this planet is fit, goes to the gym and eats healthy food.

“Yes, all men and women on that very account are. We should be conscious about who we follow. People who fully inspire us and have different interests and believes.

“Personally, I don’t follow many people. I don’t want to have too much noise or content. I follow golf accounts or I’m a fan of Jordan Peterson.”

How much time do you spend time on social media?

DM: “I’m not saying that I never waste my time on social media or people shouldn’t be doing so, but I’m saying that’s a tool which is able help only in some situations.

“I do a lot of YouTube videos. Two weeks ago, I listened to a 2-hour debate about capitalism and socialism. I left it on in the background. Or sometimes I listen to different lecturers to educate myself.

“It’s like drinking, having a glass of wine is fine every now and then but if you smash a bottle of alcohol every night, that’s a problem.”

You work with people and you specialise with dating and relationships, how do you think social media affect relationships? Especially during the pandemic, when numerous couples were facing long distance relationships.

DM: “Yes, it did help for couples who were living separately. For those who were single during the first or second lockdown, I advised them to stay single.

“Social media and over texting kill relationships. It kills attraction and when you meet up you don’t have anything to talk about.

“I spoke to people who told me that during the pandemic they have tried to spend a quality time with their other half, but it was impossible because they were scrolling on their phones all the time.

“On paper, if you have a woman and a man who are busy with their lives, the chances are that when they meet, they will have things to talk about. The couples who don’t really invest in themselves, in their hobbies and they only stare at screens of their phones, they don’t have much to talk about, they are not excited to talk about anything and they will only rely on social media or TV’s. This has become a societal issue.”

People are unaware of this increasing issue. The reason why Damien wanted people to read his book is for them to be more conscious about their life choices. His book is relaunching in October, with a new cover and a new title. The author added more content, like questions for each of us to ponder upon, things about online bullying and other significant topics.

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