Tyre Talk Column: Sex, drugs and rolls of fake cash

Confessions of a tyre fitter: Ray Pantling, owner of Tyres Direct, lists the unusual things customers have offered him in exchange for new tyres.

One time a middle aged lady who brought her car in to me decided to leave it and go home while I changed her four tyres and did a small service on her vehicle.

I organised to pick her up from her home and return her to my premises to collect her car. Whilst in my vehicle on the return journey she decided to try to change the terms and method of payment and offered to give me a very intimate and personal service of her own!

She said she was excellent and that her services were worth more than what I was charging her for the car, but she would do me a deal and it would come to exactly the same amount as mine… how coincidental!

I declined her generous offer and took the cash.

Then I had a man who, whilst paying £100 for two tyres, handed me five forged £20 notes. I told him they were all dud and illegal. He then actually laughed and told me he bought them in a pub for £25 an hour ago down the road.

Another time there was the customer whom, when it came to paying for the four tyres I had put on, informed me he had no money. He said he could pay handsomely with some drugs, booze, his designer watch (which was a fake) and he even offered me his girlfriend’s phone number, describing her as ‘a cracker’.

Thank you, but no thank you was my reply and I had to take the four new tyres off and put his old tyres back on.

Some people are qualified in con artistry but don’t judge every book by its cover. One day I was stopping to
fill my van up with fuel and, while filling up, I noticed a man in the forecourt about to change his flat tyre which had been punctured.

I walked over to the gentleman and explained I could do it in a couple minutes as it was a run of the mill job for me. The task was completed within a short while and the gentleman kindly thanked me.

Just as I was about to wish him a good day, he said: “Young man , do you like a flutter on the horses? If so, my horse is running tomorrow at Windsor and it’s worth a small wager each way.”

I was given the name and the time of the race, so the next day I invested a small wager on the horse. I was rewarded kindly and the beast romped home to the better of £95 for me.

Confess you were wrong yesterday, it will show you are wise today. Happy confessions and happy new year from a tyre fitter!

This feature was published in the January 2020 issue of Celebrate:MK lifestyle magazine. Read the full magazine above or by clicking on this link.

This feature was published in the January 2020 issue of Celebrate:MK lifestyle magazine. Read the full magazine above or by clicking on this link.

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