MK Herald Column: More illegal Bedford immigrants entering MK through our lakes

Adam Lacey, the unlucky-in-love (see here) Editor of satirical online newspaper The MK Herald, has some hilarious spoof news…

More illegal Bedford immigrants entering MK through our lakes

Residents fleeing Bedford were caught sneaking into Milton Keynes again this week as they were spotted by border control officers off shore on Caldecotte Lake.

News of this has of course sounded the siren of disbelief and dismay from the patriots of Milton Keynes, who have called for us to start tightening our borders more in the run up to MKExit if we are to “preserve the safety of the city and not allow outsiders to haunt its dreams.”

The left have, however, retorted with the argument of our hypocrisy because “we forget our colonial history with the town and shipping out prisoners there before we built Woodhill.”

Yet little is still known as to why so many are leaving Bedford for our glorious coastline. Those turned away were heard saying, “maaaate” and “do us a favour.”

There are an increasing amount of rumours that their Mayor has been scaring people away by playing into their phobias and making life ‘incredibly difficult’ within the town.

MK Council have agreed among themselves to concrete over all lakes and waterways to hopefully deter further undesirables trying to get in after another group, believed to have made their way from Dunstable, were spotted trying to sneak in along the canal on a pedalo.

The Point to be launched into space to save it

In a drastic attempt to save the future of The Point, it will be blasted into space on Thursday to prevent greedy developers getting their grubby hands on it.

The iconic building will remain intact as rockets carry it out of Earth’s orbit and it is expected to arrive at its temporary home, the Moon, by Sunday at the latest.

“They won’t be able to decide its future when it’s all the way up there,” said campaign leader Teddy Toast, before lighting up a fat bifter.

“My mate Baz is sorting the launch equipment and he also sorted me this tasty home grown. Just don’t tell anyone.”

Read more spoof stories on The MK Herald’s Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/miltonkeynesherald

This feature was published in the March 2019 issue of Celebrate:MK lifestyle magazine. Read the full magazine above or by clicking on this link.

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