MK Herald Column: Milton Keynes to leave the UK

Adam Lacey, Editor of satirical online newspaper The MK Herald, has some news regarding MK’s status in the UK, vegans and local transport…

Milton Keynes to leave the UK

It has just been announced by the council and MKExit leaders that Milton Keynes will be leaving the United Kingdom in May 2019.

“This goes far beyond our wildest dreams,” enthused local MP Balearic Findus.

“We have surpassed our goal to obtain city status by being declared an official country, so stick that up your pipes.”

The government are yet to comment and haven’t responded to our fax.

City centre says no to vegans

A number of vegan-free zones have been launched around restaurants and bars in central Milton Keynes to help give meat eaters a ‘safe space’.

Some locals however are more than perturbed by the news. “Vegans are humans too,” said one. “I should be free to exercise my right in telling whoever I want that I am vegan. Surely this is just a new form of fascism?”

Kiosk batteries get bus moving

A number 7 service had to make an emergency stop outside The Point only minutes ago after running out of electrical power.

But thankfully a quickthinking engineer bought some fresh batteries from the nearby kiosk to save the day.

Read more spoof stories on The MK Herald’s Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/miltonkeynesherald

This column was published in the September 2018 issue of Celebrate:MK lifestyle magazine. Read the full magazine above or by clicking on this link.

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