MK Herald Column: MK coast guards strike again

Adam Lacey, Editor of satirical online newspaper The MK Herald, has three more great scoops for his latest spoof news page in Celebrate:MK

MK coast guards strike again

Our local coast guards have repeated their strike for the third time this year due to continued complaints of a lack of sea in the area.

The council are looking into wherever they can provide more coastal conditions for them by moving the service to Furzton or Willen Lake.

In the meantime the team have gone to extreme lengths to kill the boredom by building a whole new floor of their offices from matchsticks.

Frog clock is dismantled after croaking under strain

The famous ‘frog clock’ that draws in crowds who point and coo has been taken down after parents reported it had scared their children by shouting.

The clock, which usually puts on a gentle half-hourly display by blowing bubbles, suddenly blurted out a tirade of foulmouthed abuse.

“It screamed at us for staring and told us to get lost,” said one mum. Several witnesses also reported it had fired golden eggs at onlookers at Easter.

The shopping centre management said the frog had felt under “immense pressure” to perform over the weekend.

MK to get first drive-thru pub

Eldergate is to become the prime location of a brand new drive-thru pub due to open this August in MK.

“More and more of us are looking for quick convenience and ways to get legless in the most efficient manner,” said bartender and designer, Pogue Singer.

The council had been keeping plans under wraps by hiding them under a blanket in their offices, until the Mayor took it for a family picnic.

Read more spoof stories on The MK Herald’s Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/miltonkeynesherald

This column was published in the July 2018 issue of Celebrate:MK lifestyle magazine. Read the full magazine above or by clicking on this link.

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