Milton Keynes is set to host a huge annual Wild Cow Race through the city centre in a bid to cement its reputation as the Cow Capital of the UK.
Several main roads in the city centre will be sealed off and flooded with mud to allow local dignitaries to rampage through the streets riding cows in an udderly ridiculous quest for glory.
The winning cows will receive the honour of being eaten by some of Milton Keynes’ most well-known and respected people within hours of the end of the race at a prestigious gala dinner.
Up to 1,000 cows and riders will take part in the event, which will be held on a busy pre-Christmas Saturday each year.
Event organiser April Fullsey said: “Cow racing is rare in the UK but it’s well done by countries like India and Cambodia.
“We want to bring it to Milton Keynes to raise the steaks and solidify the city’s reputation as the UK’s Cow Capital – it’s the next logical step after our famous Concrete Cows.
“The event will take place in December each year as the busy pre-Christmas period is the perfect time for all the roads to be closed, allowing people to let their hair down and watch local dignitaries tearing through the muddy streets being dragged along by wild animals.
“We decided to moove forward with the event this year to coincide with Milton Keynes’ 51st birthday and the death of former Bullseye host Jim Bowen, whose good friend Bully will be participating in the race as a tribute to his former co-host.
“I believe Pete Winkelman is going to ride him as they know each other from years ago when Bully was the incredibly awkward-looking lead singer in a below-par pychedelic punk band, long before his illustrious TV career catapulted him to global stardom.”
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